A collection of funny poems about animals for children aged 3 to 13. Animals featured range from anacondas to zebras and the poems from the cute and cuddly to the really rather scary. Don't worry, I'm probably scared of more creatures than you - spiders, mice, swans and snakes are top of my list - so there aren't any really terrifying poems. A cute poem about the marriage between a camel and a dromedary, and what happens next.
... A reworking of Little Miss Muffet in which the spider doesn't get the upper hand (if spiders have hands!). This verse is sixteen lines, which is horrendously long. In my defence, it was written for my niece to use for a poetry recitation event at school and the teacher said it must be sixteen lines long (that's right, blame the teacher!). As for my niece, she said the poem was too difficult and asked me to write another one.
So I did, called Aunts, and it's another monster. If you're not fortunate enough to own an aunt, you should perhaps visit your local zoo where a few have been successfully raised in captivity. Then you'll understand why the poem is in the animal section and will be prepared for some of the horrors which await. I wrote this poem during Christmas 2002 and it's a bit difficult to explain what it's about - dogs, chinese people, and the fact one rather likes to eat the other.
Not a Christmas theme at all! Children's literature is littered with unlikely cases of anthropomorphism - kittens in mittens and elephants playing euphoniums. This cute poem explains why you never find a giraffe wearing a scarf, unless there is a very helpful zoo keeper to hand. Fear not, this is not a biblical poem. In fact, it's an account of a group of animals enjoying a night out at Noah's Nightclub.
You are bound to have heard the joke, so now it's time to read it in verse form with a new twist at the end. Kobe beef is the most expensive meat in the world, because the cows from which it comes live the most incredibly pampered lifestyle, until.... Why is a walrus like a hat stand? I don't know why I asked the question, but it's rather that sort of rhyme. Have you ever saved and saved your pocket money to buy something special and as soon as you've bought it, found out it wasn't so special after all? 'Take your pet zebra with you to the supermarket and something like that was bound to happen.
' Yes, mothers really do know best (at least when it comes to looking after zebras). It's part riddle and part poem. Can you recognise this famous oviparous antipodean animal from the clues in the verse? At last, a funny poem about sheep. But beware, these creatures aren't quite as cute or cuddly as you might imagine. A gentle introduction to the poetry of Kate Williams, in the form of a funny poem about the zebra.
The haiku is a very special form of verse which originates in Japan. A haiku must have exactly 17 syllables, made up of three lines of five syllables, seven syllables and five syllables. Oops! Have you ever met a cantankerous gorilla? You're about to... The aardvark is best known as the animal that comes first in the dictionary ...and the telephone book ...and the school register.
Oh, how the aardwolf must have cursed! But there's much more to the aardvark than its alphabetical pre-eminence. 12See Also: Butler County Animal Shelter
The zoo will be an awesome alternative area if you need to receive animals pictures without the need of having a visit to safari in summer. You may get their images in the secure bench that is obtainable near the cages. To create you achievement in having the pictures of animals that you'd like, you'll be able to follow the next strategies.
Outside of a jungle of rain-washed pines and junipers spearing the recent blueness from the Florida sky, ran a little, tawny-haired boy. His bare toes, extending from his overalled legs, crackled versus the fallen palmettos. He leaped to the air, flinging his arms toward a flock of white doves circling above him.
Hi, I'm Patrick Winstanley, a living (as in alive) English poet who believes that poetry should a fun activity enjoyed with family and friends, rather than a form of torture inflicted on children by their teachers. With the help on my fellow poets Paul Curtis, Max Scratchmann and Kate Williams, I've produced an exciting and unusual collection of funny poems for kids. If you're not used to hearing the words 'poetry' and 'exciting' in the same sentence, please don't give up just yet, because these poems really are a little bit different.
.. Fresh and New Only the freshest, ripest, juiciest poems are selected for our website, so you won't find any stale old stuff by writers who died years and years ago Really FunnyThere are some really funny poems and poems which are gently humorous and a few poems about which you'll say 'Ugh, I don't think that's funny at all'. Don't worry, your Ugh poems will be someone else's favourites and vice versa Very ShortShort funny poems are quite different to long funny poems.
Short poems are often deliciously, wickedly funny and are also really quick and easy to read Poems that RhymeI love rhyming poems, because they are fun to read and recite and they're just as much fun to write. The odd poem doesn't rhyme, but that's done deliberately for comic effect, not because I gave up (or lost the rhyming dictionary). If I haven't convinced you yet, perhaps the best thing is to dive straight in and try a few.
As the saying goes, the proof of the poem is in the reading... Finding Your Way Around If you click on the funny poems button in the navigation on the left, you're taken to the poetry index. The poems are divided up into ten different types, which start with the cute and cuddly animal poems and end with some rather naughty poems. In between you'll find poems about families, famous people, school and sports, plus a rather odd category called odes and ends, for all the poems which didn't find a home elsewhere.
Who Should Read the Poems? There is poetry in the collection suitable for all ages of children, from pre-school to primary school age. However, the collection is mostly aimed at junior school children, those aged between 7 and 11 years old. One section of the site, the rude poems, deserves special mention as it's really only suitable for older children. If you're not sure whether you should be reading the them, it would be a good idea to ask your Mum, Dad, teacher or a responsible adult first.
Why All the Sheep? Sheep are my third favourite animal, after hippos and my cat Timmy, who you'll meet in the section called about the author's cat. (You'll have to visit the animal poems to discover my least favourite animals). Sheep are also quite intelligent, so they're not here just to make the site look pretty. As you visit the various sections of the site you'll meet different types of sheep and discover what they signify.
Beware if you see a sheep sitting on the lavatory, as it means that the contents of that page may be rude. Other Fun Bits As well as the funny verse, there are some other fun bits of the site you'll want to explore. Writing funny poetry gives a few hints on how to start writing your own comic poems and get them noticed by other people. About the author tells you a little bit about me and rather more about Timmy, my adorable little black cat who gets very upset if he isn't the centre of attention.
I usually say yes if I'm asked in advance and get very cross if I'm not.